Monday, October 25, 2010

Missing Sam...

"Samson, Sam, Sammy, Salmon, S-dog"

We laid our Sam to rest this morning, in the backyard. We will plant some flowers soon. It was a strange goodbye, the kids watched the guys digging the hole and Jaden wanted to help. As the dirt was covering him I sensed Jaden's angst and told him it was just his body, his spirit was no longer inside, his life spirit had left his body, he seemed to calm down and decided to help a little after that. I told Annie the same thing and she too seemed calmed.

They both process emotions differently, Jaden bottling up and not expressing or understanding his emotions, Annie opening up and describing word after word She commented to our friend yesterday when he came down to help was that Sammy was "dead. dead." I explained to them that his spirit the part of him that makes him walk and talk, and breathe and eat and be happy had left his body and was now all around us, we just couldn't see it. I told them his heart stopped beating and he stopped breathing and was gone. Simple, but for now it's enough, for them and for me.

I remember bringing him home 10 yrs ago this coming New Years Eve. Wrapped in a blue and white dog bone blanket that we bought on the way, I cuddled him and held him tightly as he shook and trembled the whole way home. He had more energy than we had ever thought, 2am wake ups to run circles in our bedroom through many many months was not exactly what we were expecting! But he was adorable and sweet.

He grew bigger, way bigger than we had ever thought. But he was a good dog, aside from his crazed desire to steal your food, off your plate and even out of your hand, his manners got worse the older he got. But he was a good dog, he loved us and we loved him.

He was a good dog, a protective dog, he was loved and will be missed. but he will always be with us, in our hearts, our minds and by our side, his spirit carrying us through our days, forever.


  1. Oh - I'm so sorry for your loss - our beloved pets leave a void that none can really feel...Peace be with you...

  2. what a sad post! it sounds like you are dealing with the loss so gracefully and that your children are sensing your calm too. thinking of you. xo m.